Player? Serial monogamist? Peter Pan? Lothario?

Why label? Some people’s libido does not wane with the years. Let’s just say a charming actor confided to me over lunch he absolutely loves women. I’ll say. After dating a cavalcade of beauties, and entering his fifth decade, his ardor remains fierce. While his female contemporaries turn their attentions to their children, he appears to turn his attentions to their daughters. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

The new generation of companions have no complaints, and I know for a fact he is generous to a fault, but I’ll just point out the obvious; a May December romance always gives December the upper hand. Have I mentioned all relationships involve the ticklish issue of control? Well, my dears, just factor in how much control you’re willing to cede.

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  1. February 22, 2013

    First things first. Is cellulite just a 21st century affliction? Gee whiz, those are some great legs.

    Yes, control is a ticklish issue, unless it slaps you – then it no longer tickles, it just burns. 😉

    • February 22, 2013

      The oldest actress pictured here is Kay Kendall – she was around thirty – young, no cellulite, beautiful…
      I would say, and I’m not qualified (but your are!), that this actor probably has some intimacy issues.
      Bwah, ha, ha and a bundle of kisses! V

  2. George Kaplan
    February 22, 2013

    But don’t women always have the power? Women are like oxygen. Whether the principal attraction is a true deep connection or “friends-with-benefits” (yeah, you can shoot me for using that term!) or even primarily sexual, surely if you love women you don’t want to control them? May to December or no (now, May to January… That’s scary :)) You love or like them for who they *are*, even the bits that might irritate or hurt (God Knows almost everyone has flaws. Tho’ when you’re with particular people even things that would really annoy in someone else suddenly seem almost enchanting!). Maybe I’m naive or, more likely, dumb. A day without women (okay, the nice not nasty ones!) is a day wasted. Men, I can take or leave. Ahem.

    I agree with A Gripping Wife. Kay Kendall hot-cha-cha! That photo is creepy tho’ with him looooming.

    • February 22, 2013

      Howdy, Champ.
      Forgive me for being presumptuous, but having just covered every trace of grey on my head I take that prerogative as a January type of person…
      Thinking about previous comments you’ve made – the question you have to resolve for yourself is… if you feel in your relationships that women always have the power? Would the flip side of that statement mean you feel powerless? Does that make you comfortable, or uncomfortable? If it’s the latter how do you balance the dynamic? Oxygen? Do you feel that you suffocate when you’re not in a relationship?
      I know, it doesn’t sound at all romantic but maybe relationships are less about fulfilling a fantasy and more about coping with and coming to appreciate reality. And, KNOWING what makes you comfortable.
      Again, apologies if I’ve been too literal or overstepped or been too preachy. For someone who can’t stand “preachy” I certainly do a lot of it.
      Be good – and good to yourself and I’ll catch up with you after the weekend.

  3. George Kaplan
    February 22, 2013

    Presume away, preach away, duckie. Women as “oxygen” is simply my typically flowery way of saying I adore the company of women (well, not *all* women obviously). Certainly there are particular women whose type of company I enjoy perhaps too much, and usually they turn out to be married or otherwise attached, it’s my curse. Ha. I sound like Larry Talbot! Of course, I’m a passionate person anyway, that’s my nature (the corollary is unsurprisingly that I have felt starved of affection, passion is seen as suspect or is misconstrued, and too much empathy leads to a person being easily hurt). As for appreciating reality I know a hawk from a handsaw. Reality is largely people being vile to one another, trust being betrayed, and losing my hearing. I know – Boo. Hoo.
    Accepting reality isn’t a problem but “appreciating” it, to be honest there isn’t much for me to appreciate (but then when I see all the awful things happening in the world that makes me feel awful). I never thought about relationships in terms of power apart from one which was really a non-relationship which I’ve told you about. We only went out to eat, drink, etc, stupidly she’s the only woman I’ve truly loved rather than fallen in deep “like” with, there I felt powerless but unfortunately she was wonderful. I’ve been hurt since but losing her killed me and she didn’t even love me. Hilarious.
    I don’t know why I pour out my soul to you, I’ve enjoyed you a lot I’m lonelier than I’ve ever been. Now reading what you’ve written I’m really upset. Yet, I’m telling you this. Like an idiot. Nonsensical.
    I have only my wit – such as it is, sensitivity, causticness, and passions. It isn’t enough, I can’t be worthy of or appealing to those who appeal to me. That’s what reality feels like to me now stated self-pityingly, baldly, and ridiculously.
    Thankfully, you are off enjoying your weekend, I don’t really think I should return to yr web log after making a righteous fool of myself. Sorry to be tres embarrassing. I have found you and BH beguiling indeed!

    • February 22, 2013

      Ha! I’m lurking in my house right now which is uncharacteristically as quiet as a cloister. If I tell you I’ve just removed a mud mask don’t be shocked.
      Look, nobody on this web log, including me, has a clue who you are – so there’s a certain safety in that. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you, if being upset is a catalyst think of it as a good thing, if you’re going round and round with it – forget it and move on. I wasn’t criticizing you but I can hear in your words a certain terrible pain and it’s worrisome.
      You sound depressed. I don’t know if that’s accurate, only you can say. I also don’t know the chronology of the troubles you’ve had, the hearing loss, the loneliness, the fascination with emotionally unavailable women, the betrayal, the feeling of being unworthy, the perception that people are generally vile to each other…
      I see a pattern here, but it’s up to you to break it if it’s gone on too long. Me telling you you’re a man of insight, sensitivity, prickliness, worthiness, wit, passion, willingness to give and receive affection, appealing, etc., is meaningless unless you believe it. Yes?
      Too much candor, I know, and if you’re uncomfortable here I understand. Please look out for yourself, please talk to somebody who knows the business of the human psyche, or, find your guide, whatever or whoever that is — even if it’s just the passage of time — you will find things do get better.
      This is going to sound daffy and Californian to you, but the best relationship you can be in is the one with yourself. Once you figure that out everything else falls into place.
      Oh, and if you feel too exposed here, or if you’re embarrassed by your openness, let me know and I can always delete or edit your comments.
      Be well, and now I truly am going to disappear for the weekend.

  4. George Kaplan
    February 26, 2013

    Thank you, I appreciate you caring. I am aware of and can’t deny the things you say. What can *I* say? It’s *really* hard (and um painful) sometimes.
    I wouldn’t like you to erase or edit my comments (and even if I did, you have better things to do!) unless you felt the need to yourself, I don’t want to harsh your mellow with my silly nonsense. I very much appreciate your kind words, I trust you (and that ain’t something I say often). As an aside, tho’ it’s true that no one here knows who exactly I am, I do think that it’s possible to know perhaps just as much – if not more – about someone from what they say and how they think/feel without knowing all their superficial personal details as it is to know a person who has a Facebook page, Twitter account and la-di-dah; it’s what a person reveals that provides the meat. Erm, well, that’s my elementary and obvious philosophy anyway! I hope you’ve recovered from the weekend. 🙂 Yours, George.
    P.S. One more thing – prickly? Moi? Ma’am, I truly have no idea where you got such a notion (;)). Damn, you’re a perceptive woman…

    • February 26, 2013

      There you are, I’m glad. I am still wiped out from the weekend. Sleep patterns disrupted, ugh, migraines, oof! I’d be more eloquent but I’m feeling… icky. Hey, after March 1st I’m taking a brief break from blogging but I wanted to tell you I’ll still be reading blogs and comments so if you want to get in touch I’ll be here, I just won’t be posting new material for a while. Thanks for checking in. It means a lot to me. V

  5. George Kaplan
    February 26, 2013

    Icky is never good! Feel better soon. Hope you don’t think it too dumb but I got choked up reading that (don’t worry I’ve still got my dubious sense of humour :)), I’m too emotional. I took a while to reply because uh I didn’t feel “up to it” and I don’t like to make myself appear um you know… Now, you see that’s what ineloquence really reads like!
    I’ll miss you and the general fantasticness (not a word but never mind) of your wit and posts. Thanks for reassuring me that I can comment. Best of luck with your novel and everything else. I’m really grateful for your time (and really pray I don’t sound too embarrassingly silly or awful. Yes, my nickname is Mr Confidence. Ha.), you’re swell, babe, in fact I think you’re the tops. 1930s vernacular aside, thank you from the very deeps of my heart. (if you were an Oscar host you’d be Johnny Carson rather than James Franco; If you were a musical performance you’d be Audrey Hepburn singing Moon River rather than Russell Crowe singing…anything; If you were a movie you’d be The Apartment rather than anything by Michael Bay, etc :))

    • February 27, 2013

      I like being the anti-Crowe – I think that’s very suitable. Although, I cast no aspersions on the man, just his singing. I have the good fortune of people being kind to me, even those who are notoriously unkind, I was once told to “stay away from Weinstein, he eats people like you,” and he couldn’t have been sweeter or more courtly… Do you have a blog I should be following during my break? Merci beaucoup, V

  6. George Kaplan
    February 27, 2013

    Dear Vickie, I’ve been wracking the old grey matter for something appropriately interesting, I’d highly recommend Michael Carlson’s web log (that’s “blog” to the non-anal!) I just checked in today and there’s the second part of a piece on Argo and Lincoln, and their relation to the true events and how much the differences do or do not matter. It’s fascinating and sardonically funny. Carlson is erudite, informed, acerbic and witty; he writes particularly well on film, television, politics, fiction, and entertainment history (also football but nobody’s perfect… And to be fair he has interesting things to say on that too). It’s the mark of a good writer that you want to keep reading even if inevitably you sometimes disagree with an opinion. Gee, I’m pontificating fine today divine Ms L, don’t drop off :). I’ve already mentioned By Ken Levine which is often amusing and informative. I found you through D. Cairns’s Shadow Play so I needn’t mention that…
    I don’t know if you’d be interested but the books Broadway Musicals: The Greatest Shows of All Time and Sitcoms both by Ken Bloom and Frank Vlastnick are entertaining and intriguing (I have to cop to being a sucker for great sitcoms; Cheers, Soap, The Golden Girls, The Odd Couple, Barney Miller early M*A*S*H, and Seinfeld etc, heaven). Also, Maurice Zolotow’s classic Wilder biog is great – if disliked by Billy – but you are so wonderfully knowledgeable that my recommending that might be like trying to teach my grandma to suck eggs (which is actually pretty hard as she’s dead. Ouch. Bad taste)!
    Love the (Harvey) Weinstein story, though frankly if he were unkind to you he really *would* be a tasteless monster!
    Happy Days and Pleasant Nights to you, o Belle of Californ-I-Ay, George.

  7. February 28, 2013

    Thank you! I now have two new blogs to read and two books in my Amazon basket 🙂

  8. George Kaplan
    February 28, 2013

    Hooray! As a tardy addendum I just came across a very good movie weblog that I hope will be up your street also, it’s The Lady Eve’s Reel Life ( Enjoy your day, G.

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