Vickie: George, dear. Have you deigned to watch Downton Abbey this season? I won’t see it until January.
George: I had a prior date watching paint dry that took precedence over seeing Darnwell Crappy. How smoothly you introduce a new subject! Two lumps, please.
Vickie: And cream?
George: Yes, thank you. Lady Elizabeth McGovern has a smarmy suitor in the shape of Withnail, Dame Maggie is being Dame Maggie, and Lady Mary has found a second facial expression as she tumbles into bed with an admirer only to be espied by Dame Maggie’s wonky-eyed butler, meanwhile there’s a Marxist below stairs! By George!
Vickie: Now this second expression of Lady Mary’s, rapture?
George: I couldn’t tell, I think it may have been indigestion.
Vickie: But I thought you said you hadn’t seen it?
George: I see bits and pieces… Spoilers for next season: Hugh Bonneville becomes a Nazi, James Earl Jones plays Dame Maggie’s long lost brother, Jerry Lewis portrays Bonneville’s dad, and in the series finale Dr. Sam Beckett quantum leaps into Lady Elizabeth McGovern and puts right what once went wrong… At the end of the episode, Darnwell Crappy never existed and everyone watched (the original) Upstairs, Downstairs and Gosford Park instead! Metafiction!