Reprise: Vickie Lester’s way late movie reviews

Have you guys heard of this movie? I’m a little behind the times what with searching for beautiful photographs of old Hollywood and architectural gems.

Production design, extraordinarily beautiful.. Cinematography, stunning… Performances, intense and perfectly modulated… Direction, it was well paced… And now we come to story…

I watched the most singular spectacle of pure piffle last night on TV, and by piffle I mean “Prometheus.” I think it should have been titled “One Robot’s Head in a Duffle Bag.”

Story inspired by the work of Erich von Däniken and (mostly) executed by, well, we won’t point fingers. Ouch.

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17 Comments

  1. George Kaplan
    April 17, 2013

    “Well, we won’t point fingers. Ouch.” Bwahahaha! I for one would like to see more of these pithy reviews, I mean, who can resist a skewering featuring a fantastic reference to the obscuro & awful 8 Heads In A Duffel Bag which also hilariously, *accurately*, savage’s Scidley Rott’s Poometheus? 😉
    Alternate Titles : Alien, Schmalien; Psycho Pinocchio In Space; Chariot of the Gods : The Icky Version; and I Am Curious: Blue Bald Alien Entity.

    • April 17, 2013

      I know it’s not worth bothering with, but, which one was supposed to represent Prometheus? The alien in the beginning who drinks the black oil and pitches himself into an abyss, or Elizabeth who rips out a gestating squid from her midsection? And, if that’s my take-away from the film you know it was a stinker 🙁

  2. April 17, 2013

    Short and sweet. Those are my favorite reviews. I won’t lie though, I do like the Fassbender very, very much. 😉

    • April 17, 2013

      He was the only reason I watched it at all 😉 !!!

    • April 17, 2013

      Inexplicable, that is perfect description!

  3. April 17, 2013

    Hilarious! “One Robot’s Head in a Duffle Bag” is pure genius.

    • April 17, 2013

      Poor old David was the most interesting character in the film, and as Loni pointed out, even his motivations were inexplicable.

  4. George Kaplan
    April 17, 2013

    Scott described himself in interviews promoting that simultaneously pretentious and brain-dead dreck as a “storyteller”! At least the ol’ cigar chomper has a sense of humour 🙂 (don’t fret Rid Alien’s still a great film!)
    I think the Prometheus was the ET with the black oil but I’m f’ed if I know, and I don’t think the “writers” do either, for all they probably babbled about ambiguity and intentional inexplicability 😉 O’ course, Guy Pierce’s Weyland could be seen as the metaphorical prometheus, but I don’t even know what the character was doing there! Eh, best just to enjoy Fassbender’s performance. Otherwise, the film’s a slick stinker.

  5. April 18, 2013

    Dearest V
    Nothing to do with Aeschylus or Shelley I take it?
    Yours ever
    The Perfumed Dandy

    • April 18, 2013

      It had the narrative drive of one of those stories you pass between your desks at school in a class that’s mind numbingly dull.

  6. April 18, 2013

    Hee hee! “One Robot’s Head in a Duffle Bag”. That is brilliant!

    • April 18, 2013

      Sadly, my suggestion to re-work it into a comedy were rejected out of hand. Joking, joking, I had nothing to do with it 😉

      • April 18, 2013

        Brace yourself. According to the interwebs they are making a sequel….

      • April 18, 2013

        And the angels wept !!!

  7. May 11, 2013

    This review is hilarious, and pretty apt. I approve, so uhh…looking forward to the sequel? =L.

  8. March 8, 2015

    I actually enjoyed this film very much, for the reason that I ever enjoy any sci-fi type thing. Not because it makes literal sense or would actually happen, but because it provokes thought, and is a fun mental ride. Cheesy sci-fi is all about the effects, and good sci-fi is social commentary. When Michael Fassbender is involved, I don’t care much about what kind of movie it is, because he’s delicious.

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