Let me just say, when you’re scheduling your posts and you slot in something for August 32nd, you know you’re perimenopausal.
If, when getting ready for an evening out, and after you squint at your face in the mirror to bring your lipsticked visage into focus you are shocked to see you look a bit like a drag queen… And, after removing the aforesaid lipstick you look ten years younger… You’re — say it with me — perimenopausal.
If you don’t give a flying f—featherduster for the fact you’re repeating topics, you’re perimenopausal.
If, when presented with the latest and greatest on who is sleeping with whom, your immediate and sincere response is some version of, “Isn’t that nice for them, dear?” You’re perimenopausal.
And, if the prospect of going up to bed early with your husband, to read, fills your heart with unbounded joy…
How are you, my darlings?
.
yep, you’re there. hang on, this is going to be a bumpy ride )
Ms. Beth, I think I need a whole new set of shock absorbers!
“…look a bit like a drag queen” Bwahahaha! (I don’t believe it) A “flying f…featherduster”… Hooting! 🙂 Honestly I don’t find most of that strange…
Yours, Perimenopausal George 😉
The day you find yourself applying lipstick, you let me know, and then I’ll tell you all about bioidentical hormones 😉 .
Now that you mention it… How do you know I’m NOT wearing lipstick?! 😉
Dearest V
Can gentlemen… or Dandies at least… be peri-menopausal too?
Well, seeing as I have all the symptoms.
Yours ever
The Perfumed Dandy
That seems to be a common question here, however, you’re much too young! xox, V
Happily, a degree of sanity does return, but one never quite recovers from the perimenopausal trauma. I mean how can one get over the fact that you once wrote August 32nd; you can forget which day it is but that sort of error you never forget !
Forever etched in my memory, as well as talking to one of my best friends — and momentarily forgetting her name. Egads!
How about these two from my perimenopause: attempting to put my telephone number in to the keypad of the microwave when I was trying to reheat my food. DID NOT WORK! And trying to open my front door by pointing my remote car key at it! Again DID NOT WORK.
One of my favorite movies ever. And seeing how extremely bitchy I was in my younger years, I doubt I will be shocked at what lies ahead. I already know what I am capable of… 😉
Oh my darling, you have nooooooo idea 😉 xox, V