Move over, Louella Parsons (oops, you’re dead, never mind) Vickie Lester finally has something salacious to say about Hollywood

constantine

It’s been suggested I go splashier in my revelations about Hollywood. But this is where I live, so I need to be careful. Also, I started this blog with the intention of not spreading malicious gossip — but babies, let’s dish. (Mama’s got a book to sell…)

I can tell you how not to pick me up at a party… Saunter over like you still retained your matinee idol looks from the 1980s (when your belly has started to expand and you obviously dye your hair) and tell me I look like Patti Lupone’s younger prettier sister…

Speaking of matinee idol good looks (he used to look like Adonis and now he looks like a haggis) the most famous of a quartet of acting brothers though not the craziest had a one night stand with one of my girlfriends in the 1980s and then acted as if he didn’t know her. Not good, Mr. O-oops! Now she did tell me, no… now wait… this isn’t that kind of blog. Moving on.

Let’s see, I was talking about parties. Do you know I met Dick Cavett at a party? He was bird-tiny, very well spoken, and had beautiful manners. Very old school. I liked him.

Who else do I like? Keanu Reeves, an extremely good egg. Bradley Cooper, ditto. Mila Kunis, raised with a strong work ethic and possessor of great comedic timing, Emma Stone, there’s nothing not to like about that gal. I could go on and on about the lovely ones, but it doesn’t make good copy. Let’s spice it up…

Now straying into people I don’t like, or people who avoid me at parties… Actors who were hound dogs in their youth (one girl after another to his hotel room door) who pose as great intellects and ask me if I understand their ouevre. (Seriously! Ouevre?) I think he forgot I was in the makeup trailer when he was having his cold sore attended to.

Or, the director who dumped his wife of thirty years for an actress not yet thirty years old? Particularly odious? Those producers and directors who play casting couch games. One would think they would grow out of it at a certain point, but still it goes on. There’s the the aged (once upon a time high-wattage) Lothario who entices women to discuss new projects at his local Starbucks where the baristas just roll their eyes as he makes his very tired, very slimy, moves.

Speaking of the elderly, I had a friend who was sent (many years ago) to deliver a script to a very well established producer’s home, and he answered the door smoking a cigar, with his bathrobe open, not wearing any briefs. Can you imagine?! She was in her late twenties, and he was in his seventies. I don’t think she had the presence of mind to do anything but drop the script at his feet and run away but, it would have been sooooo splendid if she told Ray Stark to “ZIP IT, GRANDPA.”

Photo on 3-20-14 at 5.49 PM 2

Preparing for my novel to be ruined by Hollywood in the future, in the tradition of Faulkner, Fitzgerald, and Hemingway. I should be so lucky… Cheers!

28 comments

    • It might be over ten years old… The wine was in the house, but I had to go searching through a box of movie mementos in the garage for a pack of cigarettes 😉 .

  1. Jen

    Other folks might think it was boring, but I have to say it makes me happy to hear that not everyone in that town is a full-of-themselves boor with no self-control. Not sorry, it’s true! (And better when my suspicions about so-and-so being good eggs—and I know very little about today’s stars—are confirmed! I’ve not lost my touch! Yes!)

    And the casting couch. Ugh. Surely they are attached to the power of getting what they want—and they’re so used to it, the confidence probably bowls over quite a few women, slimeball or no. Does that make sense?

    • Heather in Arles

      We Mid-western girls are all alike – I am with Jen in that I appreciated the “good eggs”!

    • It makes sense. They are used to it, the power and privilege, and it makes me soooooo streamed! Which puts me in mind of another post I have to write about producers with millions thinking it’s their due to have “perks” (major graft of goods and labor) from the studios for free…

  2. This post elevates you to the status of “great wit” in my regard. “he used to look like Adonis and now he looks like a haggis” is such a great line, with echoes of Chandler and the other great LA noir writers, as well as the “Firesign Theater,” that 4 man, LA radio comedy group whose recordings were soundtrack to much of my mis-spent youth http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/b/ba/Hcybitpaowynaaa.jpg.

    Remind me never to misbehave around you at a Hollywood party. Since I’ve never been to one, or aspired to go, that should be easy. I agree, “oeuvre” is impossible to use in a sentence with a straight face.

  3. Heather in Arles

    And how I do love the photo of you…it looks as though you have nicely recreated the Constantine scene. 😉 Can. Not. Wait. for the book to come out!!!

    • I couldn’t get my eyebrows to do that broody thing Keanu does, and then I realized the camera angle (if you can call that pinhole thing on the computer a camera) was all wrong… Heather! What will I do with myself when it comes out??? I’ll have to write another 😉 .

  4. How timely. I’ve had the desire to rewatch The Matrix to see how its held up to time. Picked up the DVD from the library this morning and waiting to see if my 2014 mind is as enraptured as my 1999 one was.

  5. BEAUTYCALYPSE

    oh, don’t worry this was gossip even a gossip-hater like myself can handle 😉

    and yes, constantine is hugely underrated. I wish they did a sequel to this, and not to [enter any stupid flick they think is worth a part 2 but really is all yawn]

    • I was in the library yesterday and wandered over to see what the Mister was perusing, and there are so many fascinating and fantastic graphic novels that have been untapped by motion pictures — I don’t know what explains the constant rehashing of the most obvious and yawn worthy comic book characters…

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