This was our first post on March 31st, 2012 – I re-posted it in June of the same year, and for some reason, and I know this speaks to a certain pettiness in my soul – I’m putting it up again. As my friend, the fabulous Heidi of NYC – Heidi Gutman Photography – would say – meeee-ow!
Word has it the third wife of a blockbuster star is getting the jitters over having signed a pre-nuptial and several nondisclosure agreements. Beyond the obvious disparity in the sparring couple’s age there is word the Mrs. has discovered, among other things, her husband has extensive hair implants, is addicted to liposuction, and has a penchant for French kissing dark handsome men who work in the wardrobe department.
Not to mention the fact last week’s ingénue, and now Hollywood royalty, was recently overheard at the Starbucks on San Vincente dismissing the doctrines of Scientology. “Xenu my ass. The only Galactic Overlord I’m worried about is the one I’m married to.”
Last seen on a flight to Manhattan with her youngest son the agitated wife referred all questions to her publicist.
Mmm…. I’m intrigued.
I’m hooked.
Hi Vickie, Great to have you come by and visit “My LIfe in Hard Times”. Thanks for the like, but esp. thanks for signing up to subscribe. Flattered that you wanted to follow me. Hope to hear your comments as my blog progresses. Welcome Aboard! Alexander
Cream on the cat’s whiskers with this one Vicki!
I know I feel a bit naughty but there’s this movie premiering and… let’s just say this is one of my less than saintly posts. 😉
It may be obvious, but here goes – Bwahahaha!
“…a certain pettiness…”? Non. Achingly hilarious, truthful Perfection? Oui!
“(…) extensive hair transplants(…)” etc, “Xenu my ass”, loved this when I read it in the archives, love it now 😉 (but, yes, think of the children… Ouch)
All dialogue directly from the imagination and bears no relation to anything seen or heard… Bwahahahaha, indeed!
I have no idea what any of this means but ‘Galactic Overlord’ tickles my funny parts so I’m in. Mwah! xoxo
It must have been the Galactic Overlords insistence on daily devotions and a bizarre form of sofa hopping, but their bond has officially been sundered and the ex Mrs. Overlord is living happily in Manhattan. xox!
Very funny Vickie.Now do not get me started on Scientology.Ok then I will get started though.Ron Hubbard now theres a man or rather was a man.Science fiction writer{bad as far as I can make out}good at stealing ideas,from Buddhism,to Freud and through possibly Aleister Crowley{self styled black magician,Great Beast 666 etc} mixed with some outlandish ideas and then bingo Dianetics.Find out that being a church and not just- therapy for thetans-then the Church of Scientology.And of course,lie,lie lie about your background as a war hero,degrees.
As it happens I grew up not so very far from the World Headquarters of Scientology St Hill Manor East Grinstead.So I saw quite enough of them around various towns in Sussex.
I even went to one of their meetings and was followed home by them{two of their Ministes} after asking a few polite questions of them.I think it shows they are truly caribg types and just wanted to shadow me to make sure weakling that I am, I was not mugged.Either that or realising that in fact I am really Nigel Thornberry explorer,media personality and genuine British Lord I would be a great addition to a portfolio of A List persons.I like to think that is true.Ha
No honestly caribg is a particular type of advanced thetan I promise.
Xenu please phone home.
Xenu,You may be a Galactic Overlord,but to me you will always be my little boy and I am your Mother.Now get back in your room and tidy it just for once,as its a mess with all those Solar Systems just laying around.
“Xenu my ass. The only Galactic Overlord I’m worried about is the one I’m married to.” HA! 😀
Xenu,turn that music down right now please.Yes I know -I am the one and only-is your theme song,but do you have to play it that loud.Your Uncle Ron never taught you to be meglomaniacal,paranoid and mean did he?
Xenu,keep it down now.Green Lantern and John Carter Warlord of Mars have been round three times now and you are ruining their dinner party.If they have to call Superman over there will be trouble as you know what he is like.
My personal favorite is the term applied to all non-believers, “squirrel” – for some reason it makes the rest of humanity sound cute – like a cast cartoon characters.
Really Vickie,that sounds for a moment quite harmless.I thought i had researched a lot about Scientology,but not heard that one.However squirrels can be victims and are often shot.A term from the group that makes my blood run cold is the description of certain individuals as being-fair game-meaning that they will be dealt with by fair means or foul.
Vickie,I got carried away with my Xenu theme there.I was enjoying the idea of him being a sort of Galactic adolescent brat.I wonder whether he ever met Galactus from the Marvel comics.I think they might get on.
Well, Edward, if you disappear suddenly you we’ll know who’s got you… Xenu and the Squirrels! (the Sc**tology version of Alvin and the Chipmunks?) They are monitoring your engrams as we speak… Woooh!
Do you know, they kidnap you and force you to watch Battlefield Earth time and again until you become one of them. (either that, or until your brain leaks out of your ears like lumpy soup) Then they make you wear a silly uniform and join the Sea Org! Avast me “Church” of Scientology hearties! 😉 It’s all true! They aren’t at all scary… Honest 🙂
You are quite right George they are quite lovable and cuddly and there is just a vast conspiracy against them.I still have my Ron Hubbard lookalike teddy bear and find even as a grown up he is great comfort,specially when you press his belly for the pre-recorded words of wisdom.
I have in fact a slightly scratched single by Xenu and the Squirrels-We Are Family-the old Sister Sledge hit ,but sung much better.
Have you heard that classic album- Sea Org sing the Pirates of Penzance?No record collection should be without one.
Oh that was my brain was it.I just ate it.I just thought it was lumpy soup.Still no harm done.
That is… Oh, the Pirates of Penzance! Too funny!
George encourages my sense of the ridiculous Vickie.I am enjoying every moment.
Heh, my pleasure, Edward, my pleasure. I think we egg each other on 😉
Yes I second that.
And I third it!
Wait… Who said that? Oh, no, it’s Xenu disguised as Kevin Kline for some reason! No, arrrgh!