God damn it, that’s where my tights went?!?

Listen, when Wolford hosiery is upwards of fifty dollars a pair and a La Perla bra and panty set will sent you back considerable coin it’s a given a girl gets a might peevish when their dainties disappear. I understand their ire. What makes it all worse is if the culprit is their husband. Actually, what makes it worse is that he stretches the stockings to the point of being unwearable and in an attempt to hide his use of your things throws the Italian underwear in the washing machine and dryer and tucks the ruined garments back in the dresser drawer like nothing has happened.

Is this anyway for you to find out you’re married to a cross-dresser?

Apparently not, however, people do adapt and I’m happy to report this Hollywood partnership continues.  The children are in college, he is a craggy action hero, and she buys her exquisite under-things in petite and jumbo.

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  1. February 18, 2014

    Funny stuff. But does the real blame lie with hosiery drawer pilferers, or Wolford’s ludicrous pricing?

    • February 18, 2014

      Now, Kyle — once you wear Wolford everything else seems a little bit like sandpaper. The trick is to find it at the discount chains 😉 .

  2. Heather in Arles
    February 18, 2014

    I can’t say that I blame him terribly. He just wants to wear the pretty things too. Although a thong must not be terribly comfortable I would think…perhaps just garters instead? That would lessen the stretching of “les bas” as well…

    • February 18, 2014

      I had a friend I had to ship underthings to when he was shooting a movie in Russia. Very long story, but, I made sure to put in some silk boxers. Oh to have a wardrobe that incorporated tap pants instead of the thong, that’s one kind of “body conscious” garment I can do without!

      • Heather in Arles
        February 18, 2014

        I am most certain that your friend was truly grateful for the effort!

  3. February 18, 2014

    Ah yes men in tights.I am afraid that I cannot think of the subject without thinking of somewhat unintentionally funny Robin Hood movies starring whoever.

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